i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
