You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He uses pillows to masturbate.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
