Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Drunk is not a location!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
