oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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