Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
