Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize