Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize