its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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