New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
