My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Come on in and take your pants off
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