I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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