Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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