so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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