I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I need water and some morals
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
