Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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