Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
