I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
