can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
