garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
