i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize