What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
