Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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