I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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