If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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