He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I AM VODKA MAN
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
