Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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