Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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