But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
