I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
