my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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