this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
