And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
the night ended with taco bell and tears
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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