glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
