He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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