I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize