remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Randomize