all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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