he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
