I smell stomach acid.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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