Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
