what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I touched a dick in church today
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
