you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
how does that bad decision feel?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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