Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
