the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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