fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
