Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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