We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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