It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
