he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
