ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just want nice things and good sex
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize