Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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