Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
That was before I lit my hair on fire
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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