I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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