the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
