She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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