she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
