I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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