My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize