i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He passed out mid-signature
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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