SEEEEXXX PLEASE
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
