Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
