dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
