we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
