I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
They are going to name an STD after you.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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