dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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