Can i not drive my cunt home
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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