Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she peed on how many people?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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