just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
