Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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