Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
