I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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