I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
