He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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