thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
